you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
