New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
