Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
