hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize