Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
