is your mom at the bar?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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