Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
