I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
