no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
not ubering you a puppy
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
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