Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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