I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
