I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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