LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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