Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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