Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
