Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
