He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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