there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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