and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
