she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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