The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Randomize
