sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize