low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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