whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
