thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize