addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
