i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
