Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
