morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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