I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
