marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize