covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize