There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
This is my gift to your gina
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
