Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My bed smells like the plague
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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