i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
