Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
