and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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