i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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