I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize