And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
