they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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