she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
