By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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