Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
