According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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