He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
