so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
