Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
