: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
