I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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