Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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