Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just gift wrapped bread.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
