i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
