a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He better not be in your backpack
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
