I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
