guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
