Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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