there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
