So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
