I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize