I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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