Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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