I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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