I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I deserve this hangover.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
