I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
