Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love having hate sex.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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