you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm experimenting with sincerity
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
