Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
