It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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